If you are an entrepreneur, an aspiring entrepreneur or really just human you know the feeling of not wanting to get out of bed some mornings because you feel like everything you have worked so hrad for is crashing down around you. I don’t usually post about this feeling because I like to bury it under 6 feet of hope, determination, dive and trust in God. But with this stabbing feeling being a reality I felt the calling to share this with anyone who is feeling week, hopeless, sad and wanting to just give up.
We recently took part in a bridal show this past month and I met a fellow photographer who shared this pain and felt so alone because every professional photographer he talks to hides this part of the journey. This very real part. He felt as if he was the only one who was scared, sad and loosing hope. I shared with him that he is not alone and that this feeling comes and goes as we embark on this journey. However, it is this feeling that breaks through to amazing things if you tough it out. After our conversation he felt reenergized, inspired and not alone. If I can help even one person feel not alone this post is so worth it.
I am going to be vulnerable today, for me yesterday and this morning that dark feeling, the one which encompassed your entire being and every cell, struck me. It makes me wonder why God would give me such a beautiful gift and yet make it so difficult to share at times. As I made my oatmeal this morning I ate it alone sitting at our hightop breakfast table with tears streaming down my face. I have so many challenges to face at this current time:
*My father has cancer and treatments have not been going so well.
*Acquiring weddings in Georgia is a huge challenge, its like starting our business all over again.
* This past summer I had to turn down over 20 Florida wedding inquiries who were wanting to book us on the spot. We don’t shoot during the summer as we run a catholic summer camp in the mountains for 13 weeks. Florida is where we started our business 6 years ago and because we put all our heart into delivering quality work, a true investment in our couples, develop real relationships with our bride and grooms and always followed threw, we were blessed to run our business based on just word of mouth. We had so many clients who recommending us that paying for advertising was something we never had to do. Our books would fill up with in the first three months of each year and we found ourself not being able to take all the inquires because we were just to booked. And to this day we have what I like to lovingly call “Horn Cheerleaders” in Florida, how I love them dearly.
*And last but not least I get confused about the path God is calling me on at this time, this is traditionally something that has come so easy for me in the past.
Pretty sure this is enough to cause anyone to be sad and even depressed. But yesterday I received a glimmer of hope, a ray of God’s love and a sign to keep on climbing this mountain. One of our amazing brides, Katie, randomly text me yesterday in the mist of my struggle. We shot their wedding right before Christmas and the Big reveal of all their gorgeous wedding photos took place last week. Below is the oh so sweet message she sent:
It was the perfect text at the perfect time. And even though I woke up still sad this morning, I was reminded of her text and mustered up the hope, ambition, drive and trust in God to get up and get back to work. I have no doubt that when I get to the top of this mountain God will reveal great things.
Today I was also reminded of the verse Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
Reach for hope and trust in God, he’s got this!