MIND BLOWN this week! This is me being very real and very honest about my short comings and failures. I share this for a few reasons….
- To acknowledge my shortcomings
- To recognize God’s Grace
- To overcome fear
- To curate real connections with others who struggle and seek
I (Michelle) tend to set myself on the course for perfection and not in a good way. I expect myself to always perform at my highest level, I give myself a very short leash and I tend to “negative self-talk” myself when I believe I have failed. Having done this for years now, I find myself tightly wound. On the outside I am still perceived to be laid back and just well organized – until you ask my husband his perspective. He is the one who sees my nitty gritty tightly wound self!
And the worst part is I was expecting him to be just as perfect. Which is strange because I don’t expect anyone else but myself and him to be perfect. My soul and heart long for, strive for and gravitate towards people who are free spirited, laid back, not on any timeline or time constraint at all. The more carefree, spontaneous, optimistic and positive a person is the more I want to be around them. Hence why I married Brandon to begin with!
I used to be that person, the artist who was always late for everything but came into a room filled with a free, joyful, optimistic laid-back spirit ready for life’s journey. AND I WANT THAT PERSON BACK (minus the late for everything part)!!
So I have been praying about this for several weeks now. Reading books, listening to podcasts and humbly bringing this to prayer asking God, “how do I get that happy, joy-filled free spirt back?“. It is so close to my lips I can almost taste it but can’t seem to get my hands on it. And then this week God gave me a small piece to the puzzle. He said to me…
Allow yourself to receive GRACE!
Insert epiphany and mind blown. How had I missed that fact that I was expecting the world of myself and not allowing God’s Grace to consume me. I had totally missed that I had become a perfectionist. By doing this I was pushing away the free and undeserved help that God wants to give me to respond to His call, His amazing plan for my life. I have the ability to be a partaker of the divine nature and of eternal life and I was messing that all up. Who am I to think I have a better plan than Him, but there I was inserting my plans.
So this Happy Friday I am so grateful for God’s Grace. And with His Grace I am so excited to see what the future holds. The future that is in so many ways out of my control. I am exited to follow His will, do as He asks and see the fruit it produces!
As I embrace this journey I hope you see changes in how we document love stories, how we share our souls wrapped in God’s Grace, how we curate art for the kingdom of God. I say we because all of this is a collaboration between me + God + Brandon. The three of us are in this together. This is no longer the “Me Show” I lay it down at His feet to do as He wills.
I would adore your support and love. I would also love to support and love on you. So please feel free to share your struggles so we can create real relationships. Ask any questions and hold me accountable!
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