November 24, 2015

Stabbing Pain in His Abdomen + Chest and a breaking Heart In Mine

On september 24th 2015, I received a phone call from my father to wish me happy birthday. But he also had something else to tell me, something sad and scary. This part of the conversation started of by my father saying, “now I don’t want you to worry and you don’t need to rush up here, I am going to be Ok“.

Immediately my stomach started to turn, a lump welled up in my throat and my heart began to race. The words no one ever wants to hear came next, “the doctors say I have cancer, I need more test to know what it is, but they are pretty sure I have it.

Everything around me fell silent and all I could hear was him breathing.

My father, he is my everything and he has taught me everything…. my rock, my strength. He has guided me in my faith, taught me to love and appreciate nature, carried me to bed every-time I fell asleep on the couch as a child, he always told me my freckles were angel kisses, he taught me to read, to be patient, and he has always told me I am beautiful and can do anything I put my mind to. He is the reason I became a creative, for he told me if I pursue doing what I love I will never work a day in my life. And he has always supported my dreams.

So now, with all my heart and soul, I want  to take care of him, to support him, to give him joy, love and peace. Two weekends ago Brandon and I took an impromptu trip up to visit my father. The chemo is making him sick and all I want to do is hug him. So a 12hour road trip later, there I was, standing in the kitchen hugging my father and never wanting to let go. We go back up at Christmas to just love on him.

I am learning that cancer and chemo are not friendly. They like to take you for a scary ride of ups + downs that make you want to cry and scream.

The reason I am writing this post is to reach out for prayers for my father. I want to flood heaven with prayers of healing for him.  I believe in prayer, I have seen it work countless times. “And God, if your reading this, please hear our prayers. Please keep my father with us longer, please heal him, please stop the pain and comfort him. But also thank you, thank you for bringing us closer during this time of struggle. Thank you for making my relationship with my father stronger through this. And most of all thank you for giving me such an amazing dad.!”

Horn Photography + Desing DAD-001

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